Finite. Infinite. Reading these words remind me of the Fault in Our Stars by John Green. What a paradox right? They found infinity on a little piece of time afforded to them by their reality and the ultimate rule that all comes to an end. At some point, we will all face the limitations of existing. When did I feel like I wasn’t immortal? Well, I have never felt like one to begin with. I don’t think I am one of few though. I mean has everyone ever really thought, in their right mind, that they are beyond existential limits?
I’ve never really thought I would never cease to exist. But I hope people will remember me. However, I am not, at all, ready to leave this beautiful place. BUT, there were several times when I was scared of how being a finite being hurts the life out of me. Loss of loved ones, illness, calamities, disaster, terrorism and others are a reminder of every day that we are given and how we can make our stay here meaningful.
I have always been a sickly girl, so I was always aware that things are not always sunflowers and daisies. I knew I was loved and that was okay. Am I scared to die? Right now? Well of course I am! I have not yet lived this life enough to do something for the greater good. I have not helped enough. Brevity is what makes life more exciting and thrilling. It makes life precious. Life is not easy, but it’s what we got and we should make it better.
If there is something infinite, I hope that is love. I hope it does not fade or disappear completely amidst all that is happening in this world. Love is enough of a start to restore the good things humans used to have. Infinity and finity are subjective realities. Yes, there are infinities. Those things we cannot fathom or put boundaries on are infinities but one way or another, those infinities end when our own limits as humans claim us. And when that happens, infinity becomes an idea, that another human lives by, hopes for, and works towards, only to find out that it is found in the deeper sense of human existence. That within our limitations, we find things we can associate forever with, like love.
Papers Pens and Peridot 
Infinity and eternity are ideas that rose from the concept of God and ultimately religion. If the universe started from a single moment, and has expanded precisely to what we know as today, then wouldn’t the energy represented by our conscious reality, allow for the love we cherish, to expand infinitely into eternity? Just a thought?
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I tried to leave the connections to our personal God and religion to the ones reading the post. I am more spiritual than religious. But anyway, I think the assumptions of how the universe started may be relative, like truth, and infinity if categorized with the measures of moments and reality. However, I think you made a good point, and I agree that in the conscious present, love exists and will always do. That is what’s amazing about life, and humans, and faith right? However, I think unless we have the conscious and concrete idea of the reality of death for the ones who go through it, the concept of infinity as a human possibility is very vague.
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My ideas about God and self are more aligned with your self described assertions. It’s this thing we refer to as consciousness and thus reality, that intrigues me most. We can only define it by terms that apply to the human experience, but imagine if that ability transcends time and space?
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I wonder if we can really put an equal sign between consciousness and reality. Human experience, I do agree. What if humans were multi-dimensional, moving through space and time, simultaneously? Would it be a disaster?
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I believe it’s our physical presence that ties us to our present reality, and consciousness is the link to multiple ones?
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oh and thank you so much for your comment!
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