Finite. Infinite. Reading these words remind me of the Fault in Our Stars by John Green. What a paradox right? They found infinity on a little piece of time afforded to them by their reality and the ultimate rule that all comes to an end. At some point, we will all face the limitations of existing. When did I feel like I wasn’t immortal? Well, I have never felt like one to begin with. I don’t think I am one of few though. I mean has everyone ever really thought, in their right mind, that they are beyond existential limits?
I’ve never really thought I would never cease to exist. But I hope people will remember me. However, I am not, at all, ready to leave this beautiful place. BUT, there were several times when I was scared of how being a finite being hurts the life out of me. Loss of loved ones, illness, calamities, disaster, terrorism and others are a reminder of every day that we are given and how we can make our stay here meaningful.
I have always been a sickly girl, so I was always aware that things are not always sunflowers and daisies. I knew I was loved and that was okay. Am I scared to die? Right now? Well of course I am! I have not yet lived this life enough to do something for the greater good. I have not helped enough. Brevity is what makes life more exciting and thrilling. It makes life precious. Life is not easy, but it’s what we got and we should make it better.
If there is something infinite, I hope that is love. I hope it does not fade or disappear completely amidst all that is happening in this world. Love is enough of a start to restore the good things humans used to have. Infinity and finity are subjective realities. Yes, there are infinities. Those things we cannot fathom or put boundaries on are infinities but one way or another, those infinities end when our own limits as humans claim us. And when that happens, infinity becomes an idea, that another human lives by, hopes for, and works towards, only to find out that it is found in the deeper sense of human existence. That within our limitations, we find things we can associate forever with, like love.